Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares get her back in da kitchen.
That got me so many slaps! Why?
If you’re American when your out of the bathroom, what are you when you’re in it?
European
Caesar adsum jam forte, Pompey aderat.
you don’t need to know Latin to get it.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you’re built upside down.
Way to go. 
I got slapped because of your joke.
It’s all your fault.
Not really a “joke” but my father used to think this phrase was pretty funny:
fili mi boni belli
(feely me bony belly)
What do you get when you cross a turtle and a porcupine??
A slow poke!
So you know what you call a guy who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.
carpe noctum
You obviously got that from a badly written T-shirt. The grammatically correct expression is carpe noctem.
And eureka, being a verb form, doesn’t have a gender, so I figured you were male because most posters here seem to be.
Kerastes
It was a badge. 
Carpe Noctem
OMG I made that up! I also made this up:
What did Fozzy the Bear say after he told the joke about the Hispanic cow?
Vaca vaca vaca!