I think… that the second question may be the punchline. Maybe when someone has everything you give him a balaclava?
- Penicillin
- Anything you like, he can’t hear you.
Nice, and for the most part true 
On a lovely sunny morning in the Big Forest, the Bear family is just waking
up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his own small chair at the table.
He looks into his own small bowl and it is empty.
“Who’s been eating my porridge ?” he squeaks.
Daddy Bear then arrives at the table and sits down in his big chair. He
looks into his own big bowl and it is empty.
“Who’s been eating my porridge ?” he roars.
Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
yells…
For Pete’s sake, how many times do we have to go through this?
It was Mummy Bear who got up first.
It was Mummy Bear who woke everybody in the house.
It was Mummy Bear who who made all the beds and washed all the clothes.
It was Mummy Bear who who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put
everything away.
It was Mummy Bear who went out early in the cold to fetch the newspaper.
It was Mummy Bear who set the table.
It was Mummy Bear who who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled
the cat’s water bowl and food dish.
And NOW…you’ve decided to come downstairs and grace me with your
presence.
Listen up real good, because I’m only going to say this one more time…
“I HAVEN’T MADE THE BLOODY PORRIDGE YET!!!”
LOL…I like it
Okay, here’s another geek joke.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
A. To get to the same side.
a little girl was learning about marine mammals and the teacher replied to her query about jonah being swallowed by the whale.
the teacher said that it was impossible for jonah to have been swallowed by the whale because whales have very small throats.
the little girl cited the story in the bible and the teacher got perturbed and said that’s final it just not possible,the whale although a large marine mammal could not swallow a man!
the little girl replied ok, when i get to heaven i’ll go find jonah and i’ll ask him.
the teacher asked, what if jonah did not go to heaven but instead went to hell?
the little girl responded, well then you ask him!!
A little girl was in a class where her teacher was explaining that the exodus from Egypt took place in a shallow part of the water about 6 inches deep. The little girl cried out “HALLELUJIA PRAISE GOD FOR THE MIRACLE” The teacher remarked, “no no, honey there was no miracle.” To which the little girl replied, “Praise God who can drown all of pharoah’s army in 6 inches of water”
Immediately following the Super Bowl, George W. Bush called the Patriots
and complemented them on a great game.
Al Gore called the Panthers and
said he thought they were robbed.
Bill Clinton called Janet Jackson
College toilet graffity:
“God is dead” – Nietsche –
which is answered by another guy:
“Nietsche’s dead, too” – God –
yet another reply:
“You both are dead meats” – Janitor –
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of sock?
ARRRRRRgyle!
(…hahahaaaaa…)
According to my latin teacher, “One of the very few Latin jokes out there”
Semper ubi, sub ubi…“always wear under wear”
(he finds this extremely funny 
)
Oh… Latin jokes…
Caesar adsum jam forte, Pompei aderat.
(Caesar 'ad some jam for tea, Pompey 'ad a rat)
To keep in spirit:
The Latin professor was uncharacteristically late in returning home. His wife was starting to worry when he entered the house. His hair was disheveled, his clothes were torn, his glasses were broken, and his left eye was starting to swell up.
“What happened to you?”
“My dear, you won’t believe it. On my way home from school I was set upon by a bunch of hoodla.”
He was so upset that he went to a bar near his house for a drink to settle his nerves.
“What’ll it be?” asked the bartender.
“A martinus,” said the professor.
“Don’t you mean martini?”
“If I wanted more than one I’d ask for more than one.”
And
Rosa rosa rosa est est.
A rose is a rose is a rose.
(courtesy of googling “Latin Jokes”…)
I don’t know why I find all of these so funny, lol…
hahah the first one is class, lovely jokes Amy haha
In reality he’d probably be punched…
I knew that semper ubi sub ubi joke. My Latin teacher told us that one but the martinus one is funny.
I love Latin…Its really fun if taight the right way. By the way, what does ABL mean?
The retard noises really do make it, I thought it was kind of funny when I read it, but I told it at work the other day, and the whole breakroom was rolling…Nice one!
BTW, I told it after the binary joke…which only two people got…yes, I am a blue collar worker
I wish I had more time to study Latin, and am amazed at how many English words are either derived from Latin. I’m not sure of the context of the ABL reference, but on a Latin forum, I would guess it means “Anything But Latin”.
Exactly.
God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well. He comes to see Adam and says to him, “Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg.” Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, “What could I get for a rib?”
OK…Mingshey’s post on Three virtues of a programmer got me thinking of this joke that a customer gave me…see if you like it.
int pot()
{
int black=1;
kettle(black);
return 1;
}
Whadda ya think?? Is it as funny as I thought it was??