I’m still reading the Metamorphoses, and was a little surprised at the scene where Pyreneus, who wants to rape the Muses, is crazy enough to think he can fly to chase after them (they’ve flown away bird-like [Ovid’s idea apparently], and he can only chase them through the air), so he jumps off the tower to pursue them and falls to his death. Ovid seems to love adding the gruesome details of how his skull shattered, so in contrast I imagined adding two lines of levity where he hovers for a moment in mid-air before falling, after the model of the Coyote trying to catch the Road Runner, to counter-balance the gruesomeness.
I did my best to construct two metrically valid lines. Can I use “miseretur” by itself like that, to have him lament his own imminent death? I chose “aeger” trying to show he’s sick with fear or some other emotion, realizing he’s about to fall, but there’s no doubt a better choice of word there.
Any comments correcting my two added lines would be appreciated.
Metamorphoses 5.289-93
ipse secuturo similis stetit arduus arce
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"qua" que "vi(a) est vobis, erit et mihi" dixit "eadem"
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seque iacit vecors e summae culmine turris
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at prīmō (mirum!) pendēr(e) immōtus et aeger (added)
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ille vidētur in āere, tunc subito miserētur (added)
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et cadit in vultus discussisqu(e) ossibus oris
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tundit humum moriens scelerato sanguine tinctam.'
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Dave S