I’m going through JACT Reading Greek (a good book!) and I think it might be time to start posting my attempts at the translation exercises here. Here’s section 9, revision exercise D.1:
A young man had an old man for a father. The young man’s name was Bdelykleon, the old man’s Philokleon. The old man, it happened, had a terrible disease – he never stopped wanting to judge in the law-courts. The young man tried to persuade him not to judge, but the old man would not obey him, for all his persuasion. Finally, the young man locked him in the house. The old man was in despair and tried to escape, using all sorts of arguments. But he was not able to escape without being seen by the slaves, who guarded the house.
And below is my attempt at a translation. I’ve looked at the answer key and corrected my obvious errors, but I’m not sure if some remain. I suspect the word order may sound more Latin than Greek sometimes?
Good use of tenses and connectives, and I don’t see anything Latinate about your word order.
One or two suggestions (I haven’t bothered with accents etc., and I haven’t looked at the key):
You: τὸ μὲν ὄνομα νεανίᾳ Βδελυκλέων, γέροντι δὲ Φιλοκλέων. Better e.g. τῳ μεν νεανιᾳ το ονομα Βδ., τῷ δε γερ. Φιλ.
You: νόσον δεινὴν ἔχων. Fine, but νοσον εχων δεινην (τινα) more expressive word order. Similarly with your πολλοῖς λόγοις χρώμενος (λογ. χρωμ. πολλοῖς or παντοδαποῖς).
Your καίπερ πείθοντι awkward but I’m not sure how best to mend it.
You: τοὺς δούλους φεύγων, τὴν οἰκίαν φυλάττοντας. That would mean “while they were guarding the house.” Better <τους> τὴν οἰκίαν φυλάττοντας (the slaves who were guarding the house) or rather οἳ την οικ. ἐφύλαττον (the slaves, who …)
Very small point: you might pay more heed to hiatus and movable nu: e.g. ἔπειθε<ν> αὐτὸν, etc.
Mainly οὐδὲ ἐπείθετο ὁ γέρων (nec paruit senex) – οὐδέ was my guess. The key has ὁ δὲ γέρων αὐτῷ οὐκ ἐπείθετο.
You: τὸ μὲν ὄνομα νεανίᾳ Βδελυκλέων, γέροντι δὲ Φιλοκλέων. Better e.g. τῳ μεν νεανιᾳ το ονομα Βδ., τῷ δε γερ. Φιλ.
I think I see: μέν and δέ should attach closest to the actual elements that are contrasted (τῷ νεανίᾳ / τῷ γέροντι)? I also notice I forgot the articles.
Your καίπερ πείθοντι awkward but I’m not sure how to mend it.
The answer key has ὁ δὲ γέρων αὐτῷ οὐκ ἐπείθετο καίπερ πολλὰ πείθοντι for the whole sentence. Perhaps my omission of αὐτῷ makes it awkward?
You: τοὺς δούλους φεύγων, τὴν οἰκίαν φυλάττοντας. That would mean “while they were guarding the house.” Better <τους> τὴν οἰκίαν φυλάττοντας (the slaves who were guarding the house) or rather οἳ την οικ. ἐφύλαττον (the slaves, who …)
I was almost sure this was wrong. Thanks for the alternatives.
Very small point: you might pay more heed to hiatus and movable nu: e.g. ἔπειθε<ν> αὐτὸν, etc.
Here’s exercise 9.D.2. There’s a hint saying not to translate “Once and for all”.
BDELYKLEON Once and for all, father, listen and obey me. I shall not allow you to leave the house and judge in the courtroom.
PHILOKLEON Why aren’t I allowed to? I expect you to tell me everything.
BDEL. Because you are the wickedest man in the city.
PHIL. Well, what am I allowed to do? What do you intend to do?
BDEL. I shall allow you to pass judgement here in the house. Would you like that?
PHIL. Yes, I would. Tell me quickly, what must I do?
BDEL. Wait here. I shall fetch out the legal equipment.
(Fetches gear; sets up the court.)
Let the advocate come forward! Let the trial begin! Where is the prosecutor? Come here, dog, and prosecute. Get up and speak. Tell us who has made the charge and for what reason. Father, I hope you will pay attention.
PHIL. Don’t worry. Come on, dog, speak up!
My attempt, again after correcting a few obvious errors with the key: