Very nice Will, even despite the (poetic) liberty taken as to the dreams that might have been.
I’ve drafted a latin version, also using the same meter. the third verse uses the meter of Mr Cho Dim for variety.
There are a number of weaknesses, but the most glaring is scilicet the line ‘noli huc reliquere me etiam alucinantem ita adhinc’. To be perfectly honest, ‘ita adhinc’ is mere filler, putty, but well… it’s the best i could come up with!
i’m not too sure about ending a line with a single syllable word either, and of course ‘novus’ doesn’t really end with a long syllable. i’ve still used it as such because it’s at the end of the line. I note you did the same.
si discedere destines
nunc narra mihi, finias
etiam me noce, finias
si discedere destines
sive in corde amor est novus
nunc narra mihi, finias
iamiam me noce, finias
sive in corde amor est novus
noli huc relinquere me
etiam alucinantem ita adhinc
nuncque me noce, finias
ut amare conperiam
sive in corde amor est novus
nunc narra mihi, finias
iamiam me noce, finias
sive in corde amor est novus
iamiam me noce, finias
sive in corde amor est novus
It’s not clear to me that the ancient Greeks had the same psychology of dreams that motivated that lyric. Also, it would have blown my neat 4-line glyconics.
I’ve drafted a latin version, also using the same meter.
What’s Latin for “yay!”?
i’m not too sure about ending a line with a single syllable word either,
Horace will be the poet to check for that, though I suppose Catullus uses his fair share of aeolic meters, too.
and of course ‘novus’ doesn’t really end with a long syllable. i’ve still used it as such because it’s at the end of the line. I note you did the same.
If the lines were to be taken in synaphaea I would have indented differently. I used the glyconics by the line, so the final syllable of the line is indifferent. I’m pretty sure that applies to both Greek and Latin verse.
So. A small Latin lesson for Wm…
nunc narra mihi, finias
etiam me noce, finias
My dictionaries make me suspicious about the acc. here with noceo. Dat. might be better.
And the entire etiam… line leaves me in doubt about my Latin scanning abilities. Isn’t it nocÄ“?
That’s probably enough of me Latinating for just now. 
Yeah well, 4 more months of law school and the world will reopen to me again, and allow me some time to actually read something other than case law.
pardon?
Indeed you are right on all counts. I will amend to: “nunc/iam noce mihi, finias”
hey will, cool but looks like a line doesn’t scan:
στᾶσαν ?νθάδε μὴ λίπῃς
?λπίζουσάν [insert long] με ματήν,
i had a go at these lines:
οἴμοι, μηκέτι πεῖθέ με
ἅττ’ ἂν ἦν ἔτι π?οσδοκᾶν.
cheers
hey will, noticed also in your signature that you have aspirated the indefinite neut acc pl as a pronoun (ἄττα) rather than as a relative (ἅττα), cheers
One dodgy fix:
στᾶσαν ?νθάδε μὴ λίπῃς
παθοῦσάν τέ με καὶ μάτην.
More thinking may be required, to do more than merely satisfy the meter.