Since you’ve had 220 views without a single response …:
ὁ Δύσκολος_(not actually a name but an adjective, but even as a name article would be normal)_ ἐμίσουν**εμίσει** τοὺς γείτονας. ὁπότε κωμάζοιεν οὐ**χ** οἷός τ’ ἦν καθεύδειν. ὁπότε ἡ θυγατὴρ βαδίζοι πρὸς τὴν κρήνην, ἐξέβη_(impf εξεβαινε better, if the οποτε clause means “whenever” she went, as its form would suggest)_ ὁ τοῦ γείτονος υἱός ἵν’ αὐτήν**αὐτῇ** ὑπαντῴη_(correct, but aor. would be more normal, υπαντήσαι/ειε). ὁπότε ὁ ἡλιος λάμποι (a point of idiom: the sun shines by definition, so this sounds very odd) ὁ υἱός(what son?, not clear)_ καὶ ὁ τοῦ γειτονος υἱός πρὸς τόν ροῦν_(ῥοῦν_) ἵνα ἁλιεύοιεν. ὁπότε ἀπαγορεύοι τὸν υἱον ὁμιλέιν**_[u]εῖν[/u]_** σὺν τῷ τοῦ γείτονος ἐγέλασεν._(Sense unclear: If the subject of both finite verbs is ὁ δύσκολος, that needs to be added up front. And after απαγορευω meaning "forbid" we'd have μὴ ὁμιλεῖν rather than the simple infin.)_ ἔδοξε**_[u]ν[/u]_** αὐτῳ χρῆσαι τόν ροῦν χρῆσθαι τῷ ῥόῳ ἵν’ ἐξελαύνοι τοὺς γείτονες**ας. εὐλαβεῖτο μὴ ὀφθείη ἀναβαίνων πρὸς τὴν τοῦ `ροῦ πηγήν. ἔπραξε χῶμα ἵνα γένοιτο λιμνηνλίμνη nom.
πεπληρωκυίας_(aor. better, and should be passive, πληρωθείσης)_ τῆς λίμνης, διέκοψε τὸ χῶμα ἵν’ ἐκρεῦσαιἐκρεύσαι/ειε** ὑδριὰ**τὸ ὕδωρ. κῦμα ἔπαισε τό τῆς τῶν γειτονῶν οἰκίας τεῖχός καὶ_(ὥστε better)_ τὸ τεῖχός ἔπεσεν.
ὁ τοῦτῆς** κώμης ἡγεμών ἔβην**εβη** ἵνα μανθάνοι περὶ τῆς συμφοράς**ᾶς**. ἐκέλευσε Δύσκολον ἑστιᾶσαι τοὺς γείτονας ἵνα οἱ γείτονες (unnecessary) μὴ καθεύδοιεν ἐν ἀγρῷ.
Try linking sentences with particles — δε, γαρ, ουν, και — so as to give a continuous narrative rather than just a set of disconnected statements.
Optatives good! and some good constructions.
Rough breathing doesn’t inhibit elision, makes no difference to the prosody. So most short final vowels can be elided before another vowel whether or not it’s aspirated. They don’t have to be, though, unless you’re writing verse, where (unlike in Latin) it’s conventional to effect the elision.
I’ve ignored a few minor accentual slips, especially acute accents instead of grave on final syllables.
First, thanks very much for the corrections. Almost all the corrections are now clear (tho not always at the first reading).
Well in English we say things like “I go jogging whenever the sun is shining” even though we know that the sun is shining even at night when its on the other side of the world. So how did the Greeks express the fact that not being hidden by cloud the sun was casting its rays onto the ground?
My guess at the moment is φαινομαι but my reading has not encountered real Greek usage “in the wild”.
Sorry only just spotted this. Yes φαινομαι is more like it, except more likely to be used intransitively in the active, φαινω. As opposed to cloud cover, for instance (e.g. σημερον ὁ ηλιος νεφέλαις κεκαλυμμένος εστιν/ην).