Proofreading my Greek iambics

[cclaudian]

(Cross-posting this from the composition board in hope of getting some more critical eyes. (mwh was kind enough to point out some errors already @ viewtopic.php?f=28&t=68987) - advice about accents would be most welcome!)

Hey, I translated some of Aphra Behn's The Sabine War into iambics. Can I get some critiques on the Greek? Is it intelligible? The English was a bit tricky, so I'll append it at the bottom. (I should note that I don't have a huge amount of experience with Greek verse comp.)

Ρ. μὲν᾽ ἀσφαλὴς κατ᾽ οἶκον, ὦ φίλον κάρα,
ὡς θύμος ἄν σοι, μὴδ᾽ἀθυμείτω καλή
Φηλικιᾶνα. ῥύεται γὰρ ἡ πόλις
τόσοις φύλαξιν ὥστε κἂν τὸν οὐρανόν
πέρσαι Σαβῖνους ῥᾷον ἢ ῾Ρώμην ἑλεῖν.
οὐκ ἔστι λόγχαις τῶνδε τειχέων ἔσω
τὰ νῦν ἐσελθεῖν, πλὴν ἑταιρείας ὅπλων.

Η. ὦναξ, στράτευμα σοῦ χαρὶν συνάξεται
καὶ ποῦ γυναίκων. ἡδ᾽ ἔπη μυθουμένη
οὕτως ἀρείφατ᾽ ἐς τοσόνδ᾽ ἐπαίρεται
Ταρπεῖα τόλμης, ὥστε τῇδ᾽ ἰσουμένας
ἡμᾶς σθένειν ἂν γείτονας ῾Ρωμῆς κρατεῖν
ἅπαντας ἔχθρους, μὴδ᾽ ἀμύνεσθαι μόνον.

Ρ. Ἡρσίλια, μείζον᾽ ἤνυσας ἤδη κρατῆ
νικᾶς τ᾽. ἐπεὶ δὲ φαίνεται Ταρπεῖα μοι
οὕτως ἀταρβὴς, ἥδε καὶ στρατηγίας
ἁμῆς μεθέξει. τὴνδ᾽ ἔα τὴν σὴν κόρην,
Ταρπεῖ᾽, ἄποντος ἀντὶ σοῦ στρατηλαγεῖν.
νύμφαις γάρ ἐστιν ἡ μάχη. τὶ δ᾽ἀξίας
τίμης τὸ θήλυ μὴ τυχεῖν κωλύσεται;

Ο. πεμφθεὶς ὑπ᾽ἐχθρῶν Κύρτιος μένει σ᾽, ἄναξ.

Ρ. δέχου νιν ὡς τάχιστα τῶν σκηνῶν ἔσω.

Φ. φέρ’ εἰπὲ πρὸς θεῶν· ἆρα τὴν μαχήν
τὴν ἀρτίως ἀρχθεῖσαν, ὦ φίλη κάσι,
σπονδῶν ἕκατι νῦν ἔχειν τέλος χρεών;

Η.ἐπεὶ Σαβῖνα παρθένος πέφυκ᾽ ἐγώ
θέλω ποεῖσθαι πᾶσιν εἰρήνην καλῶς,
ἀλλ᾽ ὡς κυρῶ ῾Ρωμαῖα σύζυγος τὰ νῦν
νικᾶν θέλοιμ᾽ ἂν μᾶλλον ἢ θεῖναι κακήν.

Rom.
Be safe my Love as your own wish can fancy: Nor let the pretty Feliciana fear, since Rome is now so guarded, that the Sabines may as well hope to storm the Cloud as prevail here: No arms but those of friendship can pass these Walls.

Her.
I think, my Lord your cause will raise an Army even of Wo∣men. Tarpeia talks so bravely here, and in such Martial Language, that were we all like her we alone were sufficient, not only to defend our selves, but to subdue all the adjacent Enemies of Rome.

Rom.
Your Conquest, sweet Hersilia, have been already greater: And for the fair Tarpeia since she appears so brave, she too shall have a share in our Command—Tarpeius, let your Daughter act as Leiutenant in your absence: This is the Ladies War, and why should then that Sex be bar'd to share the honours of it?

Enter a Souldier.
Sol. Sabinus Curtius Sir, sent from the Enemy, attends without.

Rom.
Admit him.

Fel.
Now Sister should this War, scarce yet begun, end in a treaty?

Hers.
As I'm a Sabine by my Birth, I wish a Peace with honour, but I am more a Roman by my inclination than to desire it basely.