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Hello! Thank you so much for your help in advance.
I am looking for advice regarding whether tranquillitas quam peto inest mihi translates correctly into
"The peace I seek lies within me"
I am planning on using this translation in Latin for a tattoo. To me, it is a reminder that during tough times I don't need to wish and hope that things could be better; I have the power to change my thoughts into something more positive and thus become more at peace with myself.
I'm writing in Latin hoping for correction, and not because I'm confident in how I express myself. Latinè scribo ut ab omnibus corrigar, non quod confidenter me exprimam.
Yeah, the translation is accurate, but it isn't very Latin. Maybe conversationally so, but mottoes and the like are really pithy to the point of being gnomic. I also am not sure about the tranquillitas, but I can't think of a truly superior alternative offhand.
Better:
Tranqullitas mihi inest petita. (The sought peace is in me. Better because we lose the relative clause and pick up the participle. Pithier and a more natural appearance to my ear--at least the sort of thing I can imagine in some Latin elegy.)
Even better (to my thinking):
Tranquillitas mihi petita. (The sought peace is to/for me--with the [is] understood as it often is in these situations. This just seems more along the lines of "Numen, lumen" and "Ora et labora.")
Or even better:
Tranquillitate petita. (By/with sought peace--as in "by the grace of God" or similar. But this may be a step too far for your tastes.)
I for one think what you have in Latin is good, clear Latin, collegegal (putting the verb "inest" at the end stresses it rather than "mihi" but stressing "mihi" can make good sense). "Tranqullitas mihi inest petita" stresses the wrong word (also "tranquillitas petita" isn't as good as "tranquillitas quam peto"); "Tranquillitas mihi petita [est]" means something different and less interesting; "tranquillitate petitâ" I find pretty obscure.
Ego equidem id quod scripsisti, femellacollegialis, bonum clarumque praefero : "tranquillitas quam peto inest mihi" (verbum in ultimum poni malo ad vim habendam nisi "mihi" verò vim habeat, quod bene possibile est). In "Tranqullitas mihi inest petita" falsum verbum vim habet (etiam sensus mutatur); aliud minùs attractivum dicere vult hoc: "Tranquillitas mihi petita [est]"; et obscurius habeo "tranquillitate petitâ" .
I'm writing in Latin hoping for correction, and not because I'm confident in how I express myself. Latinè scribo ut ab omnibus corrigar, non quod confidenter me exprimam.
adrianus wrote:I for one think what you have in Latin is good, clear Latin, collegegal (putting the verb "inest" at the end stresses it rather than "mihi" but stressing "mihi" can make good sense). "Tranqullitas mihi inest petita" stresses the wrong word (also "tranquillitas petita" isn't as good as "tranquillitas quam peto"); "Tranquillitas mihi petita [est]" means something different and less interesting; "tranquillitate petitâ" I find pretty obscure.
Ego equidem id quod scripsisti, femellacollegialis, bonum clarumque praefero : "tranquillitas quam peto inest mihi" (verbum in ultimum poni malo ad vim habendam nisi "mihi" verò vim habeat, quod bene possibile est). In "Tranqullitas mihi inest petita" falsum verbum vim habet (etiam sensus mutatur); aliud minùs attractivum dicere vult hoc: "Tranquillitas mihi petita [est]"; et obscurius habeo "tranquillitate petitâ" .
Mi Adriane,
De gustibus… Fortasse nimis versuum nuper legebam. Ut bene scis, poemata Latina fiere possunt obscurissima. Optimum est errare ad brevitatem, mihi videtur, his in rebus, nam plures litterae maius pretium faciunt.
Of course. You are completely right that the first translation is perfectly acceptable Latin. I was just hoping to present alternatives which probably err on the side of brevity and to throw wayyyy too many possibilities out. I've probably been reading too much poetry lately, and we all know how that can get very, very obscure. I guess I was preferring obscure to polished conversational.
Thank you so much for your help in advance.