I like "vobis hoc", though I worry that it looks like a word-for-word rendering of the English, while in fact it means something rather different. "Here's to" is an idiomatic way of toasting someone or something; "here is a drink in honour of ...", one might expand it. "Vobis hoc" seems rather to mean "this poem is for you" ("hoc" agreeing, perhaps, with an implied "carmen"). But "vobis hoc" certainly makes good sense, and has the virtue of brevity, whereas "vobis propinamus" or somesuch would make this line rather longer than the others. So, keep it, I say, but be aware of this difference in meaning. If you were already aware, I apologise.
Nicola and Bart are being directly adressed here, so I think their names should be in the vocative case, rather than in apposition with "vobis".
"Ultimum momentum" is the subject, so the verb should not be in the second person.
I'm not sure about the perfect tense here; present seems more fitting.
Is "agoniens" really a word?
agonio, agoniare, agoniavi, agoniatus V TRANS [EXXEW] Later uncommon
struggle/fight (against); strive unto death (Vulgate Sirach 4:33);
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests