Whack translation

[LatinGirly]

I am working in Evidence and Confession from chapter 30, My translation doesn't sound very good at all, but I'm not sure what I'm missing. I really appreciate being able to come here to talk to others who know more than me!

Latin :Sit denique scriptum in fronte unius cuiusque quid de re publica
sentiat; nam rem publicam laboribus consiliisque meis ex igne
atque ferro ereptam esse videtis.
Haec iam exponam breviter ut scire possitis qua ratione
comprehensa sint.Semper providi quo modo in tantis insidiis salvi esse
possemus.Omnes dies consumpsi ut viderem quid coniurati acturi essent.
Denique litteras intercipere potui quae ad Catilinam a Lentulo,
aliisque coniuratis missae erant.
Tum, coniuratis comprehensis et senatu convocato, contendi
in senatum, ostendi litteras Lentulo, quaesivi cognosceretne signum. Dixit se cognoscere; sed primo dubitavit et negavit se de his
rebus responsurum esse. Mox autem ostendit quanta esset vis conscientiae; nam
repente mollitus est atque omnem rem narravit.
Tum ceteri coniurati sic furtim inter se aspiciebant ut
non ab aliis indicari sed indicare se ipsi viderentur.


English(my translation):Let him be indeed in the face of one whom may understand what about the state; you see the sate having been saved from fire and sword by my work and counsel. Now let me explain these things briefly, so that you can understand what they might have seized. I have always provided for that mode was able to be alive in so much treachery. I have used up all of my days in order that I would see how the conspirators would act. Finally, I have been able to intercept the letter which had been sent from Lentulo and the other conspiritors to Catilline. Then since the conspirators have been arrested and the senate has been assembled, I have contended in the midst of the senate, I have revealed the letter of Luntulo, I have obtained, he was learning the sign. He had said that he recognizes himself; but in the beginning you have doubted and denied going to answer about these things yourselves. Soon however he revealed how great the strength of conciense was; for he has suddenly been softened and has told about the whole thing. Then the other conspirators so secretly contemplated among themselves that they were not accused by others but seem to accuse their very selves.

[modus.irrealis]

Hi,

It looks good -- maybe it was the tense you used that made it sound odd. I made some really short comments, so if anything's unclear just let me know.

English(my translation):Let him be indeed in the face of one whom may understand what about the state;

Here it's quid de re publica sentiat that's the subject of sit scriptum and quisque means "each" or "every", so it's "Let it be written on everyone's forehead what he feels about the state"

for you see the sate has been saved from fire and sword by my work and counsel. Now let me explain these things briefly, so that you can understand what they might have seized.

It could also be "I will now explain..." but both seem equally likely to me. I don't like the word "ratio" since it seems to mean everything but "qua ratione" means "in what manner." The subjunctive here is just because it's an indirect question, so you don't need "might", it's just "can understand in what manner they were seized (or arrested)".

I have always provided for that mode was able to be alive in so much treachery.

quo modo = how, salvi = safe here.

I have used up all of my days in order that I would see how the conspirators would act. Finally, I have been able to intercept the letter which had been sent from Lentulo and the other conspiritors to Catilline. Then when the conspirators have been arrested and the senate has been assembled, I have contended in the midst of the senate, I have revealed the letter of Luntulo, I have obtained, he was learning the sign.

Here he's narrating what happened so the perfect tense is equivalent to a simple past, so "I was able to intercept", "when the conspirators were arrested." quaero = ask, cognosco = recognize -- notice the -ne on cognosceretne which indicates it's a question, so "I asked whether he recognized the sign (or seal)".

He had said that he recognizes himself;

The se just means he here, it's dixit "cognosco" > dixit se cognoscere. There's an implied it.

but in the beginning you have doubted and denied going to answer about these things yourselves.

Why the switch to you? Dubito = hesitate here. It doesn't seem to have been an issue here, but in other cases, I find it's easier to understand nego as say ... not, so here it would be "he said that he would not answer about these things." Again the "se" here just means "he".

Soon however he revealed how great the strength of conciense was; for he has suddenly been softened and has told about the whole thing. Then the other conspirators so secretly contemplated among themselves that they were not accused by others but seem to accuse their very selves.

Here too it should be the simple past in English for the perfect. "Inter se" is also the Latin way of saying "each other" so "se aspiciebant" is also "were looking at each other." The last bit would be awkward to translate literally into English so I like your rendition, except that since "indicari" is an infinitive it also goes with "seem." You could translate it impersonally in English, sort of like "it seemed not that they were being accused by others but that they themselves were accusing themselves."