Very nice Will, even despite the (poetic) liberty taken as to the dreams that might have been.
I've drafted a latin version, also using the same meter. the third verse uses the meter of Mr Cho Dim for variety.
There are a number of weaknesses, but the most glaring is scilicet the line 'noli huc reliquere me etiam alucinantem ita adhinc'. To be perfectly honest, 'ita adhinc' is mere filler, putty, but well... it's the best i could come up with!
i'm not too sure about ending a line with a single syllable word either, and of course 'novus' doesn't really end with a long syllable. i've still used it as such because it's at the end of the line. I note you did the same.
si discedere destines
nunc narra mihi, finias
etiam me noce, finias
si discedere destines
sive in corde amor est novus
nunc narra mihi, finias
iamiam me noce, finias
sive in corde amor est novus
noli huc relinquere me
etiam alucinantem ita adhinc
nuncque me noce, finias
ut amare conperiam
sive in corde amor est novus
nunc narra mihi, finias
iamiam me noce, finias
sive in corde amor est novus
iamiam me noce, finias
sive in corde amor est novus