Another elegiacal pursuit

[Deudeditus]

This morning I woke up and read (again) Ovid's Pyramus & Thisbe. So inspired was I that I took up the quill and myself did arm with rhythm, quality vocalic, elision, and a meal to break the fast. Thus armed, I wrote..

--Tenuis Rima--

Pluuit; plorat caelum pro scelere urbi et amore
Amisso, Impleto. Lacrimat liberiter
Sanguinem lacrima mortalem ex manibus mihi tollit
Caelestis. Gladio te comitar, mea mel.


The rain in the first line is due to the fact that it was raining here at my house as i wrote this piece (... a piece it may be).

I could use all the help/comments/ridicule i can get, as I'm still an infans with respect to latin (and latin poetry in particular ), though perhaps not so infans as i was before.

-Jon

[edit]
in the last line ... Gladio te comito, mea mel. is what it should be methinks.

[Episcopus]

Deu,

firstly due praise for even bothering to attempt this. what are your aims in composing elegies? there are some scansion errors, a pentameter must end in a disyllable or est and the previous vocalic syllable elided, amongst other infelicities. but don't worry, soon you will be smacking down dat beats, i recommend pre-elegy Busta Rhymes, Notorious B.I.G., Nas, Ma$e and even Lil Wayne if you are feeling southern, to stimulate the versual vibrations in the heart which they doth warm. bump them off your boat even, for you should soon have an excellent verse composition book coming your way.

[Deudeditus]

a pentameter must end in a disyllable or est and the previous vocalic syllable elided,

didn't know it, thanks!

Really, I'm just wondering how the hell i'm going to keep up munifying my latinitatem in boot camp... I'm thinking about having my friends write to me in latin... alas none know her. Itaque, being resourceful and determined, I have written/typed/blatantly copied bits and pieces of latin which are to be sent to me twice a week for me to read on sunday when we get most of the day off. in the spirit of the Sabbath, i have chosen St. Augustine, The Vulgate, Ovid, and Caesar . All of which should be appropriate to read in Religious Service. an added bonus is that the mail of every recruit is read beforehand (to catch early suicide, deliberate iniury, and/or faltering willpower.), and fortasse not one of the censors will know latin, and thus send it to be translated and realize it to be naught but inspirational writings.

If anyone wishes to write me while in bootcamp for the next 3 months (I leave on Sunday), all they need do is send an email to semper_ero@hotamail.com and it will be delivered to me.

By the by, Episcope, as soon as I make it to Corporal or Sergeant, my friend and I will, with luck and much needed funds, purchase another ship c.60 feet long (I'm not sure, but does 18 metres sound about right for a good sized sailing vessel?). I believe we may sail to the clouded hills of thine island... I've always wanted to best Mt. Snowdon.

well I must be off, thank you for the help, Epi. Cura ut ualeas et semper caue canem.

-Jon

[Episcopus]

bootcamp you mean army?

[Deudeditus]

Marine Corps, actually. 13 weeks of bloody wonderful hell, amice. I'm actually leaving in 30 minutes or so. I scored a job in crypto linguistics, so I'm pretty excited. I will talk to y'all in no time at all.

uale,

-Jon

Semper Fi

[Episcopus]

if you do get that boat maybe one day i can jump on and we sail round the coasts playing those games [on honeys] at every port like ludacris pimpin all over the world or p diddy and dat crazy yachts though with beer not champagne i am saying good luck in the knowledge that you 100% WILL be doing some mad pullups son within the next 13 weeks