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Greek elegaic

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Greek elegaic

Postby Thoucydides » Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:42 am

[face=spionic]Qaumata R(wmaiwn mala xairwn au)tik e)soyei
barbara kai gnwsh? r(hmata kai a)stea
biblion ou)n labe nu=n xarien lepton panu kalon
h(mwn ou)k a)mnhmwn, Li/nh e)mh filih[/face]

For a departing friend.

I am not sure about the asyndeton in line 3, or whether those adjectives are really suitable for a book.
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Postby whiteoctave » Tue Mar 28, 2006 8:24 am

astea in line two is unmetrical; the asyndeton in line three is a little harsh, although the adjectives, which have a certain Callimachean bent, are not inapporpriate. there are some nice ionic features.

~D
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Postby Thoucydides » Tue May 02, 2006 7:52 am

Thanks whiteoctave.

[face=spionic]Qaumata R(wmaiwn mala xairwn au)tik e)soyei
barbara kai gnwsh? astea kai epea
biblion ou)n labe nu=n xarien kai lepton eonta
sou filiaj mnhmwn, Li/nh e)mh filih[/face]

Asyndeton fixed (hopefully) with another ionicism.
I want to keep the "astea" because it's in the Odssey proem and seems appropriate for going on a journey (indeed, this Odyssean flavour i's what the ionicisms are meant to achieve).
Using the force of the digamma twice in one line is appropriate for the recipient (a fan of digammas!)
The Callimachean bent is intentional - it's a book of Catullus.
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