salue o Cyborg
I think your translation is fine
Really, I don't see many problems in it. I'll set forth a few comments, but first my own go at it:
I want to be just, senators. I want to be seen not without concern for all these dangers to the city, but now I condemn myself beacause of inactivity and negligence. A camp has been set up against the Roman people in the mountains of Etruria, the number of enemies still grows. Yet you see the commander of the camp and the leader of the enemies within the city walls and even amidst the numbers of the conscript fathers, and you ought to understand that those men pursue danger and great evils to our city.
Now my comments:
- me esse pium
and me uideri
are ACIs. You must either use infinitives as I have done or introduce your subordinate clauses by a "that": I desire that I be just, e.g. (I find, btw, the pius
of M&F a little strange: I am not sure if this word is used by Cicero at all)
- sunt conlocata
: in your interpretation the particple loosely refers to castra
, which is a possibility; I understand this as a passive perfect: has been set up
- perhaps a "yet" translates the autem
a little better, - and the "all" of the debetis
in your translation does not have an equivalent in the Latin original, but one could certainly imagine Cicero saying that, pointing at the senators
That's it! As you can see, I can't find fault with it - just a few minor ideas. Now, what is this speech about? Well, to be brief: Cicero has revealed Catiline's coup d'état and he explains the situation as it is to the senators. He didn't expect Catiline to be there (which is why the oration has a very in medias res
opening: quousque tandem abutere...
). Catiline is plotting against the state and yet he dares walk about freely and even show up in the senate!
What are your own thoughts about this piece and its translation?