Verse challenge: Paean on the new Sappho

[annis]

In honor of the new Sappho (rather, newly pieced together Sappho).

Latin or Greek. Special points for using the meter of that poem. It's a hagesichorean expanded with two choriambs:

x -uu- -uu- -uu- u--

Sappho wrote in simple hagesichoreans, x-uu-u--, so that'd be fine, too. Just remember that though the meter is the same in all lines, the lines must come in pairs.

[auctor]

Short, sweet, and pretty much off the cuff...
[face=SPIonic]
poluyamaqw| topw| d'h)n,
a)na stomas' auqij e)stin.
[/face]

It was in a very sandy place,
It is again on (our/my) lips.

It's hardly ever going to set the poetic world alight, but it may provide a match for someone's tinder.
Paul McK

[Kasper]

I can't install any greek fonts on this computer (i'm at work) so:

[face=SPIonic]I)/swj ge se th~j A)frodi/thj ferousi
strou~qoi a)po\ krhmnw~n e)pi\ kai/ron h(mw~n[/face]

[annis]

Short, sweet, and pretty much off the cuff...

I wasn't expecting verses immediately!

[face=SPIonic]poluyamaqw| topw| d'h)n,[/face]

Huh. In the past I would have said that [face=spionic]de/[/face] is oddly placed, but after reading Pindar I'm less sure about that, in verse at any rate.

Can one use the dative of location with [face=spionic]ei)mi/[/face]? I know it's licensed elsewhere in verse, but this line gives me warning vibes, though possibly my radar is off. Also off the cuff: [face=spionic]dh\n ya/mmoj e)/ph ke/kruptai[/face].

[annis]

[face=SPIonic]I)/swj ge se th~j A)frodi/thj ferousi
strou~qoi a)po\ krhmnw~n e)pi\ kai/ron h(mw~n[/face]

Well, that's vivid!

I quite like the [face=spionic]a)po\ krhmnw~n e)pi\ kai/ron[/face] phrasing.

[schoolmarm]The hiatus after [face=spionic]strou=qoi[/face] is a shock. Accent: [face=spionic]kairo\n[/face].[/schoolmarm]

[Kasper]

[face=SPIonic]I)/swj ge se th~j A)frodi/thj ferousi
strou~qoi a)po\ krhmnw~n e)pi\ kai/ron h(mw~n[/face]

Well, that's vivid!

I quite like the [face=spionic]a)po\ krhmnw~n e)pi\ kai/ron[/face] phrasing.

[schoolmarm]The hiatus after [face=spionic]strou=qoi[/face] is a shock. Accent: [face=spionic]kairo\n[/face].[/schoolmarm]

Thanks for your comments Will.

I must admit I only just noticed the hiatus. Any thoughts on how to avoid it?

[annis]

I must admit I only just noticed the hiatus. Any thoughts on how to avoid it?

Not at the moment. I'll have to think.

And sad news just occured to me: the iota in Aphrodite is long.

[chad]

Also off the cuff: dh\n ya/mmoj e)/ph ke/kruptai.

hi Will, I'm probably way off here since I've never read up on it, but can you shorten the syllable containing epsilon in ke/kruptai?

of course you can in various genres of greek poetry but i thought in sapphic poetry you couldn't. i'm only basing this off the few sappho fragments i've checked (v quickly).

i'm asking not as a correction but because i'd like to know the answer if you've read up on it, thanks

[Kasper]

I must admit I only just noticed the hiatus. Any thoughts on how to avoid it?

Not at the moment. I'll have to think.

And sad news just occured to me: the iota in Aphrodite is long.

This may be a stretch, but how about:

fe/rousi to/t) i)/sws, qanat), A)frodi/ths
strou~qoi s) a)po\ krhmvw~n e)pi\ kairo\n h(mw~n



Of course if Chad is right, this goes out the window too...

[annis]

hi Will, I'm probably way off here since I've never read up on it, but can you shorten the syllable containing epsilon in ke/kruptai?

of course you can in various genres of greek poetry but i thought in sapphic poetry you couldn't. i'm only basing this off the few sappho fragments i've checked (v quickly).

You are correct. Sappho would not have accepted a short vowel before stop+resonant in that position. But other poets using aeolics would, and I tend follow that practice by default. If I ever switch into the Lesbian dialect I'll be more careful.