Verse challenge: Paean on the new Sappho

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annis
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Verse challenge: Paean on the new Sappho

Post by annis »

In honor of the new Sappho (rather, newly pieced together Sappho).

Latin or Greek. Special points for using the meter of that poem. It's a hagesichorean expanded with two choriambs:

x -uu- -uu- -uu- u--

Sappho wrote in simple hagesichoreans, x-uu-u--, so that'd be fine, too. Just remember that though the meter is the same in all lines, the lines must come in pairs.
William S. Annis — http://www.aoidoi.org/http://www.scholiastae.org/
τίς πατέρ' αἰνήσει εἰ μὴ κακοδαίμονες υἱοί;

auctor
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Post by auctor »

Short, sweet, and pretty much off the cuff...
[size=150] πολυψαμαθῳ τοπῳ δ’ἠν, ἀνα στομασ’ αυθις ἐστιν.

It was in a very sandy place,
It is again on (our/my) lips.

It's hardly ever going to set the poetic world alight, but it may provide a match for someone's tinder.
Paul McK

Kasper
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Post by Kasper »

I can't install any greek fonts on this computer (i'm at work) so:

[b]Ι1σως γε σε τῆς Α0φροδίτης φερουσι στροῦθοι ἀπὸ κρημνῶν ἐπὶ καίρον ἡμῶν[/b]
“Cum ego verbo utar,” Humpty Dumpty dixit voce contempta, “indicat illud quod optem – nec plus nec minus.”
“Est tamen rogatio” dixit Alice, “an efficere verba tot res indicare possis.”
“Rogatio est, “Humpty Dumpty responsit, “quae fiat magister – id cunctum est.”

annis
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Post by annis »

auctor wrote:Short, sweet, and pretty much off the cuff...
I wasn't expecting verses immediately!
[size=150]πολυψαμαθῳ τοπῳ δ’ἠν,
Huh. In the past I would have said that δέ is oddly placed, but after reading Pindar I'm less sure about that, in verse at any rate.

Can one use the dative of location with εἰμί? I know it's licensed elsewhere in verse, but this line gives me warning vibes, though possibly my radar is off. Also off the cuff: δὴν ψάμμος ἔπη κέκρυπται.
William S. Annis — http://www.aoidoi.org/http://www.scholiastae.org/
τίς πατέρ' αἰνήσει εἰ μὴ κακοδαίμονες υἱοί;

annis
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Post by annis »

Kasper wrote:[b]Ι1σως γε σε τῆς Α0φροδίτης φερουσι στροῦθοι ἀπὸ κρημνῶν ἐπὶ καίρον ἡμῶν[/b]
Well, that's vivid!

I quite like the ἀπὸ κρημνῶν ἐπὶ καίρον phrasing.

[schoolmarm]The hiatus after στροῦθοι is a shock. Accent: καιρὸν.[/schoolmarm]
William S. Annis — http://www.aoidoi.org/http://www.scholiastae.org/
τίς πατέρ' αἰνήσει εἰ μὴ κακοδαίμονες υἱοί;

Kasper
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Post by Kasper »

annis wrote:
Kasper wrote:[b]Ι1σως γε σε τῆς Α0φροδίτης φερουσι στροῦθοι ἀπὸ κρημνῶν ἐπὶ καίρον ἡμῶν[/b]
Well, that's vivid!

I quite like the ἀπὸ κρημνῶν ἐπὶ καίρον phrasing.

[schoolmarm]The hiatus after στροῦθοι is a shock. Accent: καιρὸν.[/schoolmarm]
Thanks for your comments Will.

I must admit I only just noticed the hiatus. Any thoughts on how to avoid it?
“Cum ego verbo utar,” Humpty Dumpty dixit voce contempta, “indicat illud quod optem – nec plus nec minus.”
“Est tamen rogatio” dixit Alice, “an efficere verba tot res indicare possis.”
“Rogatio est, “Humpty Dumpty responsit, “quae fiat magister – id cunctum est.”

annis
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Post by annis »

Kasper wrote:I must admit I only just noticed the hiatus. Any thoughts on how to avoid it?
Not at the moment. I'll have to think.

And sad news just occured to me: the iota in Aphrodite is long.
William S. Annis — http://www.aoidoi.org/http://www.scholiastae.org/
τίς πατέρ' αἰνήσει εἰ μὴ κακοδαίμονες υἱοί;

chad
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Post by chad »

Also off the cuff: dh\n ya/mmoj e)/ph ke/kruptai.
hi Will, I'm probably way off here since I've never read up on it, but can you shorten the syllable containing epsilon in ke/kruptai?

of course you can in various genres of greek poetry but i thought in sapphic poetry you couldn't. i'm only basing this off the few sappho fragments i've checked (v quickly).

i'm asking not as a correction but because i'd like to know the answer if you've read up on it, thanks :)

Kasper
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Post by Kasper »

annis wrote:
Kasper wrote:I must admit I only just noticed the hiatus. Any thoughts on how to avoid it?
Not at the moment. I'll have to think.

And sad news just occured to me: the iota in Aphrodite is long.
This may be a stretch, but how about:

fe/rousi to/t) i)/sws, qanat), A)frodi/ths
strou~qoi s) a)po\ krhmvw~n e)pi\ kairo\n h(mw~n



Of course if Chad is right, this goes out the window too...
“Cum ego verbo utar,” Humpty Dumpty dixit voce contempta, “indicat illud quod optem – nec plus nec minus.”
“Est tamen rogatio” dixit Alice, “an efficere verba tot res indicare possis.”
“Rogatio est, “Humpty Dumpty responsit, “quae fiat magister – id cunctum est.”

annis
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Post by annis »

chad wrote:hi Will, I'm probably way off here since I've never read up on it, but can you shorten the syllable containing epsilon in ke/kruptai?

of course you can in various genres of greek poetry but i thought in sapphic poetry you couldn't. i'm only basing this off the few sappho fragments i've checked (v quickly).
You are correct. Sappho would not have accepted a short vowel before stop+resonant in that position. But other poets using aeolics would, and I tend follow that practice by default. If I ever switch into the Lesbian dialect I'll be more careful. :)
William S. Annis — http://www.aoidoi.org/http://www.scholiastae.org/
τίς πατέρ' αἰνήσει εἰ μὴ κακοδαίμονες υἱοί;

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