Das Inverse Theory

[Episcopus]

I shall finally let you all in on my amazing way of thought.

Have you ever eaten something, and thought, 'eerr this tastes like sheet...s of De Bello Gallico' ? Do you wish that it might taste delicious? Lately so many things in life have been inverse that I came across this theory. I can show you how to do it! It goes thus:

1. Take your bowl of disgusting food
2. Take a piece of paper
3. Take a pen
4. Draw on said paper: 1/


5. Place the paper above the bowl.

Now eat! Doesn't it taste lovely! MMM! That's because you just INVERSED the taste. Now instead of tasting like bollocks, it tastes like 1/bollocks, say bollocks has a taste value of 0.01 now your new dish has 100 score!

You can love your formerly repoussante food, but, as in Sabrina the teenage witch we may not meddle with love

That's to say, if you take the average girl from round these parts, 'feck feck feck peck your neck got a fag like' you can't just flop out your paper and shove 1 / above her head. She will NOT become beautiful and utter

latin instead! It does not work. I don't know why but love is too sacred a gift from Allah so you can't truck with it.

I shall continue such experiments in different situations to prove further my theory. More examples:

Some people say, let's say 99% of world population would say welsh to be the nastiest of tongues. Something that they have unsuccessfully tried to forcefeed us english speakers in wales since we were 3. It's like hitleroddiaeth. Then one day, inversely theoretical alpha particles ionized me, that's to say, they put 1 / on my outer energy level. On my

Unuoctium atoms at least Uuo. So I woke up and said "hmm I want to learn welsh" That's like Churchill saying hmm poffywoffy 60000 vocabulary Ich mag Hitler. The amount of times I argued resisted insulted welsh and literally hurled at her ochywdddaeth. How do I deal with it iodd?

1
____________________________________________________________
chwyddachachprydsawlpamwytroeddwnnhwachoscymraegioddpysgod

Isn't it so beautiful now! I don't dare take away the 1/ because I shall hurl. But now it pleases me greatly.

(Note, again involving god HaShem, this does not work with Hebrew because it is sacred tongue of the covenant's chosen people)

But THEN, and listen to this mei nigri, ging ich to the library um ein Walisisches Buch zu lesen, to read a welsh book (just flaunting my *German inflexion power! in your face Emma you fecking farmer!)
but guess what! Devinez ce qu'ils eurent fait! Guess people! A welsh library, usually with 50000 unopened welsh learning books, they pulled a bloody fast one and INVERSED the bugger! Yes that's right! They had 1/50000 books which is negligible to the nearest whole book = 0 !
I just laughed and had to give them credit, they can't help das inverse theory and its potency of raping welsh libraries of welsh books. Come on people. Potestatem considerate! That's like ionizing platinum electron on 1s1. Crazy irish men!

* 1/Deutsch = Ett gott spr�k !

Last year I was retarded in maths. I had a few days before the test a practise test 1/25. A boy who was explaining things to me had 16. In the real exam, we had our grades, I took top grade, he failed. And I am bloody willing to bet that I had 1/1/25 = 25/25 and he had 1.5625/25, or 2. So this year I am losing in maths, he is taking 100%, if I fail maths I will MEIN LEBEN RUIN as my mother says, which is true because it's whiteoctave and bouncy balls in harry potter halls for me, but am I worried? Je m'en soucie? Pas du tout! No way son! Because I KNOW that he will fail and I shall succeed. It's the law of nature. My maths teacher said that were ridiculous but what she didn't know is that I had drawn a big 1 / on the whiteboard above her so she was basically agreeing with me.


To conclude I should like to thank 1/steven because you (1/1/steven now) are 1/not a prick for 1/replying to me on msn. No but seriously I hate you/0.01. I give nothing to you.

I should also like to say that I rule, the inverse theory is correct and serious replies only please. You think that I am not serious? Pass the broccoli whiteoctave such people do not dare espuere suchs. I should receive a phd for this.

[Emma_85]

Thank you for explaining the universe to me! Now that we have 'inverse theory' we can solve the long standing problem of 'what is the inverse of a donut?' - it is 1/donut!

[Episcopus]

I understand whence you be coming Emma, but one thing that is to be noted in this theory is that you can not just put 1 / anything and make it disappear.
It is mostly to do with feelings and will, for example, usually the library tries to feed us books, then suddenly they inversed their feelings towards welsh and now we have no welsh book.

If you are talking physically you can deform a donut into a straight cylinder then cut that open and it is a 1 right, whereof the inverse would be 1 / 1 = 1.
But donuts are foolish why are we talking about them THEY ARE JUST A SWEET.

If you like donuts especially the jam ones do not inverse it unless you want to taste something bitter and bollock-like.

[yadfothgildloc]

we of the convenant people thank you for not taking our god away from us

mazel tov, v'yasher koach l'omeir "HaShem." yehudi atah?

[Eureka]

we of the convenant people thank you for not taking our god away from us

mazel tov, v'yasher koach l'omeir "HaShem." yehudi atah?

1/ It is clear to me what this post means.

[yadfothgildloc]

ani omer she'atah lo omer (o at lo ome'et) ha'emet.

Unless you speak Hebrew, or have a wonderful understanding of Semetic lingustics.

[Episcopus]

1/ It is clear to me what this post means.

(You have in certain way the same sense of humour as I Eureka)

See Eureka did you try to put 1 / the hebrew? It doesn't work does it! I suppose we can expect that...

[yadfothgildloc]

oh!

1 / i do not understand now.

[Eureka]

ani omer she'atah lo omer (o at lo ome'et) ha'emet.

Unless you speak Hebrew, or have a wonderful understanding of Semetic lingustics.

1/It's a good thing, then, that my knowledge of Semetic linguistics is second to none.

[Episcopus]

1/ Please mock this unimportant thread!

[chad]

episcopus' posts are some of the funniest things i read i keep reading and i have no idea what's going on but they're hilarious and then there's a vicious insult and they end. i love it in fact they remind me of my favourite modern author, huysmans... in particular A rebours

http://www.huysmans.org/against/agi.htm

i can't read it in french yet, but i've read it in english many times... there's no plot: it's just about a very intelligent enfeebled french man of an old aristocratic line (i'm not saying you're enfeebled though episcopus), who's locked himself away from the world and the people he hates and looks down on to study his latin and cultivate his super-refined senses of taste and smell and art and stuff. episcopus you should read it there's only an old translation online but newer ones are in bookstores...

[MyIlium]

You can love your formerly repoussante food, but, as in Sabrina the teenage witch we may not meddle with love
.

You continue to surprise me, Episcope, (in the least)-1 with your knowledge of shows directed at preteen girls.

[Episcopus]

Well it's an old show many years ago I used to watch it.

Ah the memories! oh thankyou for this son! Je viens de m'en souvenir! In 1999 when I was but 11 my girl in those days she called me 'farmboy!' (as roland the little green guy did to harvey, sabrina's love) ahhhh good times. She gave me love hearts too.

Now she's a slut.

= INVERSE

see told you it worked...

[MyIlium]

Oy, I remember that episode. Vaguely. See, I used to watch it too.

[Episcopus]

Good man

ahhh farmboy... just can't get round that

ah how inverse it has become, everywhere the theory is working.

[Aurelia]

can it also work as ^-1?

[Episcopus]

Yip, same thing

You can also draw a graph of x then of 1/x to note the change according to time.

Don't start differentiating 1/x now for that would be silly (-1/x^2)

[dominus sciurorum]

Don't differentiate! Integrate 1/x. ln|x|, y4y.

But now that you know that, I must destroy you all.
(1 / 0)!!! ((one over 0) factorial factorial factorial factorial)

Is that the real inverse donut?

[Episcopus]

Can you tell me how to integrate? What is it? ah I feel like loser now

[Eureka]

Can you tell me how to integrate? What is it? ah I feel like loser now

It's the reverse of differentiation, so from -1/x^2 you get 1/x (then possibly plus some number not involving x).

[Aurelia]

may I take your theory one step further?
how about taking a picture of something and having it developed as a negative or load it onto a computer, go to a paint program, inversing the colours, then printing it back out. Do you think it would have the same effect as 1/x or x^-1?

[classicalclarinet]

Now you're getting serious... physics and all.

[primitive]

oh i love it! wonderful man! ur a genius!!!!!

1/my life

excellent! its eye candy

[Episcopus]

Do you know that photography IS Das Inverse Theory?

Silver Nitrate (AgNO3) is a chemical affected by light. The more light it takes the blacker it goes, from its original white colour. So what they do in photography Black and white put white silver nitrate on the photo paper and then shine light on it INVERSELY because the darkest parts in the end photo will have to have the MOST light given to them.

[Aurelia]

ok cool ^-1

[Episcopus]

Well did you know that eh? See you bloody well 1/did! Well aha Silver Nitrate parked outside. There are many chemicals whose certain properties are yet to be usefully exploited or discovered. I and crazy sidekick Zhi will find a shocking one one day, which will involve das Inverse Theory again because it is the key to everything.

Take for example the line TR of gradient dy/dx = 5. Draw in a perpendicular bisector, that's 90 degrees to TR Aurelia. Whither turned is it? First of all to be perpendicular thereto gradi eum adversa oportet, it must have gradient in the opposite direction (see gradiens, -nt) so it will degrade negatively. So we now have -. If TR be 5 then UK the perpendicular bisector will have gradient negative 1/5. = Das Inverse Theory. It is a rule inverse negatively. Try drawing one. My mother showed me that yesterday, I was like DAS INVERSE THEORY IST UBERALLS! An deinen FACE!

[primitive]

Thank you for explaining the universe to me! Now that we have 'inverse theory' we can solve the long standing problem of 'what is the inverse of a donut?' - it is 1/donut!

but then it would be undefined

[Sunshine]

lol. I didnt understand a thing. Inverse, differentiating then intergrating. hmmm

[Episcopus]

Now in mathematics we have proofs, but often generally we can differentiate a circle to find -2y-2x/2y+2x = dy/dx from but not apply to reality. Here I will give a practical example and hence proof, as to exactly how das inverse theory can not meddle with love.

Since one can not meddle with love (Cf. Sabrina die teenage Witch), let girl = x.

There is an x whom I and hate and desire. x consists of 1 horizontal (i) 1 vertical (j) and 1 z component (k).

i = stultitia
j = pulchritudo
k = cervicis succus

If now we apply das inverse theory to x we get:

(inversing with respect to x)

dee-inverse/dx = 1
___________________
( i + j + k )

which is of course 1/i + 1/j + 1/k

substitute (stultitia) for i : 1/(stultitia) = sapientia/1.

substitute (pulchritudo) for j : 1/(pulchritudo) = deformitas/1.

substitute (cervicis succus) for k : 1/(cerivis succu) = episcopi ariditas/1.

So, putting girl in for x: we get, deeinverse/dee-girl = sapience, ugliness, and dry bishóp. Now asif ugliness were not bad enough, a girl is not a girl if she have a bishop let alone one of considerable aridity. Therefore, das Inverse Theory can NOT be applied to puellile matters.

To summarize, da stand der Bischof, der hoffte, dass das inverse theory ein gutes Mädchen machen kónnte. That's to say, I was excited that das inverse theory might help me, but now I am being tormented. And I thought that the most powerful and elegant mathematical discovery of the century would be sufficiently potent.

1/skipping heaven