DWBrumbley wrote:Oath of the Night’s Watch
GJCaesar wrote:I like the construction of your last sentence, so all you have to do is change the accusatives to ablatives . --> pro hac nocte et omnibus noctibus successuris
Scribo wrote:This wouldn't be a Iuramentum but a Sacramentum given its nature.
Scribo wrote:"Ea non finiet usque meam mortem" is nice but the Roman attitude would basically be, predictably, dum spero
Scribo wrote: and you'd take nullam uxorem I believe.
Scribo wrote:Coronas is problematic in that the plural suggests Republican military awards. You could use the singular or, even better, diadema, -atis as a sign of sovereignity. This goes with Regna (which I like! Elsewise you could use something like I rule with the prep. "over" lands but...weird).
Scribo wrote:Not much else really. Liber, liberi would be more sensible than sons here and you could even use a periphrastic construction for variety if you liked.
Craig_Thomas wrote:There are some pronouns and possessive adjectives there that are redundant in Latin. I would erase ea from the second line, mea from in mea statione, and every ego.
Vinco means "to overcome," or "defeat", and can't be used with gloriam. Vinco means "to win" only in the sense of "to win a contest or battle," or "defeat an enemy," not "to gain something by winning." How about adipiscar? And I'm not sure that nullus can be used with a mass or innumerable noun. Unlike wives and kids, gloria doesn't come in discrete packages. gloriam non adipiscar would probably be preferable, but someone correct me if I'm wrong about that.nullam gloriam vincam
why ensis instead of gladius?
Because murus is too specific. Plural is less pedestrian. Moenia aren't necessarily city walls; muri can also mean city walls, too.Why would the word Walls in the oath be plural?
Because you already used custos. Although Latin is not as averse to repeating words, tuens, which connotes "watching over," "guarding", "protecting" provides some variety.Why tuens instead of custodiens?
Interlocking alliteration of u and t. The alliteration sounds a little like Ennius, i.e., archaic and ritual, and why not some hyperbaton, which is very Latin? But you could rearrange the words if you like--Latin word order is flexible.scutum terras tuens hominum
Then maybe corona is the word you're looking for.The purpose of the oath in this section is to renounce any claim to current or future sovereignty or nobility.
If you don't like my version (Latin prefers longer periods than English), at least leave out et. It doesn't do anything either in English or in Latin. nunc incipit mea vigilia seems more effective.Nox ruit, et vigilia mea nunc incipit.
Do the same thing in French and Italian, too!
dum morior means "while I am dying". dum moriar (the subjunctive) would be "until I die".
When it's used with the indicative to mean "until", it implies that the action actually happened, with the subjunctive, it can't be certain whether or not the action happened
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 26 guests