It has been a few years since I went through Pharr (luckily with a Textkit study group), but I'll point out what I can.
1. The sceptre and the fillets of the god will not avail the old man (dat.) if he tarries (particip.) beside the hollow ships of the great-souled Achaeans, or if he returns later, for Agamemnon will attack him and send (his) soul to Hades.1. Σκῆπτρον καὶ στέμματα θεοῦ οὒ χραισμήσουσι γέροντι, ἢ δηθύνων κοίλῃσι πάρα νηυσὶν ᾿Αχαιῶν μεγαθύμων ἢ αὖτις ἰὼν ὕστερον, οὕνεκα τὸν ὀλέξει ᾿Αγαμέμνων, ψυχήν δε ᾿Αιδι προϊάψειν.
(a) I found it helpful to follow Homeric forms where possible, just for practice. So, since the Iliad passage in this lesson used it I wrote
θεοῖο rather than
θεοῦ, although both are correct.
(b) Pharr indicates that we should use a participle to express the verbal idea
he tarries, and you used
δηθύνων. Being a verbal adjective, the participle needs to agree in number, gender and case with the noun which it is modifying. Your form is nom. masc. sg. which does not agree with any of the preceding nouns. (Note that a nom. participle can agree with the implicit subject of a finite verb form, but here the verb is 3pl. so that does not fit either.) Since
he tarries has to refer to
the old man it needs to agree with
γέροντι and so would be
δηθύνοντι.
(c) The same idea applies to
ἰὼν which also modifies
γέροντι and so needs to be dat. rather than nom. You can see this principle in action in the last line of the Iliad passage in lesson XIX except there the participles are acc. case. I also followed Homer's phrasing from there and so wrote
ὕστερον αὖτις ἰόντι.
(d)
οὕνεκα usually gives a reason for what preceded it, and is often rendered
because,
since,
seeing that (from Cunliffe). To me, at any rate, plain old
γὰρ seemed a better fit.
(e) Did you intend
ὀλέξει to be a future of
ὀλέκω? I don't think that stem has a future form. Regardless, if you look up
attack in Pharr's English - Greek glossary the only verb he gives is
ἐποίχομαι, a new word from this lesson where the various senses can stray rather far from just
attack. The future principal part is followed by an *, meaning that it's an Attic form analogous to known Homeric forms but not attested in Homer. (See the beginning of Pharr's Greek - English glossary for the explanation of these markings.) So, I used
ἐποιχήσεται for
will attack.
(f)
ψυχήν δε For the accents
δέ is not enclitic so that should have been
ψυχὴν δὲ. Also, that should be
Ἄιδι (with an acute accent).
(g)
προϊάψειν Did you add a ν-moveable here? 3sg. pres. act. ind. forms do not use one because you end up with a pres. act. infinitive form. So, that should have been just
προϊάψει.
2. He will not free his darling daughter, but old age will come upon her in the home of Agamemnon and Clytaem(n)estra, far from (her) native land.2. Οὒ λύσει παῖδα φίλην, γῆρας δε ἔπεισί μιν ἐν οἴκῳ Αγαμέμνονος Κλυταιμνήστρης τε, τηλόθι πάτρης.
(a)
Οὒ is a proclitic and so has no accent, just the smooth breathing
Οὐ.
(b) It seemed to me that a strong adversative conjunction belonged here so I used
ἀλλά rather than the weaker
δέ but that is just my opinion. In any event, again
δέ is not enclitic and so at least needs an accent.
(c)
ἔπεισί Here Pharr called for
will come upon, and so from the future principal part
ἐπείσομαι as given in this lesson's vocabulary. Hence it should be
ἐπείσεται. (Actually,
ἐπείσεταί μιν since you use the enclitic acc. pronoun.)
3. Vexing, having vexed, quarreling, having quarreled, bearing, having borne, having, sacking, having sacked, helping, having helped, sharing, having shared, going, tarrying.3. ἐρεθίζων, ἐρεθίσας, ἐρίζων, ἐρίσας, τίκτων, τεκών, ἔχων, πέρθων, πέρσας, χραισμέων, χραισμήσας, ἀντιόων, ἀντιάσας, ἰών, δηθύνων.
(a) In English
bearing can mean either
to carry (as in
to bear a great burden) or
to produce, to beget (as in
to bear fruit or
to bear a child), just to give two of the broad bundles of possible meanings. Since an earlier Iliad passage used
φέρω but
τίκτω has not yet been used I figured that
φέρω (mostly associated with the first English sense) was the intended verb here rather than
τίκτω (mostly associated with the second English sense). Of course
φέρω is also interesting because its other tenses come from other roots (a suppletive verb). So, I had
φέρων and
ἐνείκας. Maybe somebody else can comment on this.
(b) Up to this point, lesson XVII introduced
ἐκπέρθω as the verb meaning
to sack (although the intensive sense of
to sack utterly is probably the better rendering). So, I had
ἐκπέρθων and
ἐκπέρσας although your versions do also work.
(c)
ἀντιόων I am going to guess that this is a typo for
ἀντιάων (
ά instead of
ό).
Otherwise, everything looks fine to me.
I hope I haven't made any glaringly erroneous statements or observations, but if I have, I'm sure that someone more knowledgeable than myself will post any necessary corrections.
Cheers.