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Latin prose composition!

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Latin prose composition!

Postby whiteoctave » Tue Dec 23, 2003 11:51 pm

Yes, three very magic words formed my title!

Seeing as the "Latin prose composition" forum is controlled by a moderator and a moderator only, I imagine this is still the place to suggest little prose comp exercises.
What I thought I would do was choose, at random, an article from the greatest British paper (which, naturally, is The Independent, but please don't make a post saying how your hold The Times or The Guardian or other in higher esteem: journalistic comment is accepted if accompanying a translation!) and then select, with similar haphazardness, a few lines of said article for translation.

Your job? To put them into sweet, mellifluous Classical prose (that of Cicero, Caesar and, if you feel so inclined, Livy).

The more who do it, the better!

English: (begins with direct speech, square brackets my additions)

"We both jumped in and swam after him and we got in front of him and were leading him back to the bank," Shaun [change to name as see fit] said. "I went past the croc[odile]. I didn't see it. Ashley [same again with regard to Latin name] screamed out 'croc, croc'... we just swam to the nearest tree and straight up we went.

"We were looking around for Brett [yes...] (but) didn't hear a thing, didn't hear a scream, no splashing or anything," he said."

An exciting, yet tragic, passage.

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Postby bingley » Wed Dec 24, 2003 1:13 am

Given the colloquial nature of the boy's language, would not an imitation of Plautus, for those who feel up to it, be more appropriate?
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Postby Kasper » Wed Dec 24, 2003 1:41 am

Caesar, Plautus or Cicero, here's simply my version:

uterque insilimus in billabongem et illi natabamus et illum praeimus et illum ad oram ferebamus Shaunus dixit crocodilum transeo eum non vidi sed Ashleyus clamabatur crocodilus crocodilus et ad proxissimum arborem natavimus et adscendimus

et Bretti circumspicebamus sed nihil audiebamus, non clamorem audiebamus, non aspergendum aut aliquid ille dixit
“Cum ego verbo utar,” Humpty Dumpty dixit voce contempta, “indicat illud quod optem – nec plus nec minus.”
“Est tamen rogatio” dixit Alice, “an efficere verba tot res indicare possis.”
“Rogatio est, “Humpty Dumpty responsit, “quae fiat magister – id cunctum est.”
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Postby Episcopus » Wed Dec 24, 2003 4:13 pm

satis verba non habeo, timeo... :(
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Postby Skylax » Sun Dec 28, 2003 6:43 pm

Marcus "Ambo" inquit "postquam in aquam desiluimus, nantes eum consecuti obviamque facti ad ripam retro retraximus. Tum cum corcodillum inscius praeterissem, subito Titus cor... cor... exclamavit ut nantes proximam arborem nacti continuo ascenderimus. Cum autem Gaium quaerentes omnia circumspiceremus nullum tamen clamorem neque respersum neque ulla alia sensimus."
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Postby whiteoctave » Sun Dec 28, 2003 7:39 pm

A very nice piece Skylax!

I enjoyed the very Ovidian use of "no, nare", but I am always wary of using present participles, especially if they depend upon a main verb alongside passive participles. Maybe "natando" would fit better. It's all about conjecture of the temporal sense, I suppose.
I don't know "obviam facio"; is that an idiom much like "obviam eo"?
The truncation of "corcodilus" to "cor..." is inspired genius! All credit.
Again you use a present participle in direct relation to a past participle (i.e. without a conjunction), namely "nantes...nacti"; i'm not sure about that in prose.
I like the use of "sentio" at the end too - it is almost a zeugmatic verb in that the "clamor" could be heard, yet the participle of "respergo" could be seen.
I like it. Probe!

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