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Could somebody check out this translation...

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Could somebody check out this translation...

Postby awlright » Sat May 16, 2009 1:35 pm

Messalina, the wife of the emporor Claudius, has an affair with Silius and pays the penalty.

Messalina erat uxor Claudii; non autem maritum sed Silium amabat, qui erat pulcherrimus iuvenis; illa saepe domum eius sum multis servis visitabat et multa dona ei dabat. tandem Silius, ambitione motus, amorem apertum suscipiebat.

Messalina was the wife of Claudius; however she did not love her husband, but Silius, who was a very handsome young man; she was often visiting his home with many slaves and was giving many gifts to him. At last Silius, having been moved by ambition, took on open love .

"non necesse est," inquit, "mortem imperatoris exspectare: quod neque uxorem neque liberos habeo, iam paratus sum te in matrimonium ducere et filium tuum adoptare."

He said, “it is not necessary to wait for the death of the emperor: because I have neither a wife, nor children, now I am prepared to lead you into marriage and to adopt your children.

simulac Claudius Roma discessit ut sacrificium Ostiae faceret, Messalina Silio nupsit. hac re cognita amici Claudii timebant ne Messalinea, morte Claudii effecta, Silium imperatorem faceret. ad Claudium igitur festinaverunt ut omnia ei patefacerent.

As soon as Claudius left Rome to make a sacrifice in Ostia, Messalina married Silius. With this thing having been found out by the friends of Claudius, they feared that Messalina, as a result of the death of Claudius, Silius would be made emperor. They therefore hurried to Claudius to reveal everything to him.

"scisne," inquiunt, "te non iam uxorem habere?"

They said, “Do you know that now you do not have a wife?”

ille tam perterritus erat ut statim milites mitteret ad Silium comprehendendum; quem captum ad mortem damnavit. de morte tamen Messalinae haesitavit, cum liberos suos valde amaret. itaque amici eius militi fideli imperaverunt ut Messalinam occideret;quae in horto inventa gladio necata est.

He was so terrified that at one he sent soldiers to silius needing to arrest him; he having been captured was sentenced to death. About to die however, Messalina hesisted, since she loved her children strongly. In this way, his frends ordered the loyal soldiers to kill Messalina; she having been found in the garden was killed by the sword.

Thank you ever so much!
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Re: Could somebody check out this translation...

Postby thesaurus » Sat May 16, 2009 8:40 pm

Messalina erat uxor Claudii; non autem maritum sed Silium amabat, qui erat pulcherrimus iuvenis; illa saepe domum eius sum multis servis visitabat et multa dona ei dabat. tandem Silius, ambitione motus, amorem apertum suscipiebat.

Messalina was the wife of Claudius; however she did not love her husband, but Silius, who was a very handsome young man; she was often visiting his home with many slaves and was giving many gifts to him. At last Silius, having been moved by ambition, took on open love .


"sum" in the Latin should be "cum," but you already seem to know that.
"ambitione motus" is not an ablative absolute, so you can just have "moved by ambition" without the "having been."
"took on open love" is correct, but you might translate it more colloquially as "openly took up his love," or "began to love openly."

"non necesse est," inquit, "mortem imperatoris exspectare: quod neque uxorem neque liberos habeo, iam paratus sum te in matrimonium ducere et filium tuum adoptare."

He said, “it is not necessary to wait for the death of the emperor: because I have neither a wife, nor children, now I am prepared to lead you into marriage and to adopt your children.


All correct.

simulac Claudius Roma discessit ut sacrificium Ostiae faceret, Messalina Silio nupsit. hac re cognita amici Claudii timebant ne Messalinea, morte Claudii effecta, Silium imperatorem faceret. ad Claudium igitur festinaverunt ut omnia ei patefacerent.

As soon as Claudius left Rome to make a sacrifice in Ostia, Messalina married Silius. With this thing having been found out by the friends of Claudius, they feared that Messalina, as a result of the death of Claudius, Silius would be made emperor. They therefore hurried to Claudius to reveal everything to him.


"with this deed having been discovered, Claudius's friends were afraid that/lest Messalina, moved/effected by the death of Claudius, would make Silius emperor." "hac re cognita" is an ablative absolute, and "amici Claudii" are not related to it here; they are just the subjects of "timebant."

"scisne," inquiunt, "te non iam uxorem habere?"

They said, “Do you know that now you do not have a wife?”


Correct!

ille tam perterritus erat ut statim milites mitteret ad Silium comprehendendum; quem captum ad mortem damnavit. de morte tamen Messalinae haesitavit, cum liberos suos valde amaret. itaque amici eius militi fideli imperaverunt ut Messalinam occideret;quae in horto inventa gladio necata est.

He was so terrified that at one he sent soldiers to silius needing to arrest him; he having been captured was sentenced to death. About to die however, Messalina hesisted, since she loved her children strongly. In this way, his frends ordered the loyal soldiers to kill Messalina; she having been found in the garden was killed by the sword.


"He was so terrified that he immediately sent soldiers to arrest Silius." "ad + gerundive" is a way to express purpose, just like "ut Silium comprehenderent."
"quem captum ad mortem damnavit:" Literally it is "Claudius sentenced the captive Silius [whom was captive] to death." Notice the active verb.
Similarly, "He hesitated, however, regarding the death of Messalina."
"cum liberos suos valde amaret:" "since he greatly loved his children."
"itaque amici eius militi fideli imperaverunt ut Messalinam occideret;quae in horto inventa gladio necata est:" "and so his friends ordered a faithful soldier to kill Messelina; whom, discovered in the garden, was killed with a sword." "militi fideli" is singular dative.
Horae quidem cedunt et dies et menses et anni, nec praeteritum tempus umquam revertitur nec quid sequatur sciri potest. Quod cuique temporis ad vivendum datur, eo debet esse contentus. --Cicero, De Senectute
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