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Could Sumbody check my translation:

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Could Sumbody check my translation:

Postby awlright » Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:28 pm

prope mare erat templum Veneris. forte Labrax promiserat se Palaestram ad templum ducturum esse ut iuveni traderet, hic iuvenis ancillam emere voluerat quod
Near the sea was the temple of Venus. Brave Labrax promised to Palaestra that he would lead her to the temple in order to hand over the younster.
This youngster wanted to buy the love of the slave girl because he loved her so greatly.
eam magnopere amabat. iam puella sola erat nesciebatque quid faceret. erat prope templum parva villa in qua senex habitabat. hic senex multis ante annis
Now the girl was alone and did not know what to do. Near the temple was a small house, in which the old man was living. This old man had lost his daughter before for many years;
filiam seuam amiserat; nam a latronibus capta ablata erat. is quoque iam solus cum paucis servis habitabat. puella templum ingressa sacerdotem oravit ut se
for she was captured by robbers. He was also now living alone with his few slaves. Entering the temple, the girl arose to the priests that had helped her.
adiuverat. interea Labrax, qui e nave quoque effugerat, ad templum appropinquavit. puellam conspectam capere conatus est. senex clamoribus templo auditis,
Meanwhile, Labrax, who had also fled from the ship, approached the temple. The girl will have caught sight of him which she know. The old man heard the shouts in the temple,
puellam servavit; duobus servis imperavit ut Labracem tenerent.
the girl was guarding; he ondered two of the slaves to seize Labrax.

Thank you!
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Re: Could Sumbody check my translation:

Postby thesaurus » Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:59 pm

prope mare erat templum Veneris. forte Labrax promiserat se Palaestram ad templum ducturum esse ut iuveni traderet, hic iuvenis ancillam emere voluerat quod eam magnopere amabat.
Near the sea was the temple of Venus. Brave Labrax promised to Palaestra that he would lead her to the temple in order to hand over the younster. This youngster wanted to buy the love of the slave girl because he loved her so greatly.


I believe "forte" is the adverb, "by chance," or "it happened." The masculine adj. would be "fortis."
The clause following "promiserat" (a pluperfect) is reported speech, so the "se" refers back to the subject (Labrax). Palaestram is the object. If he were promising "to Palaestram," her name would be found before the verb of promising (also probably in the dative). So, "Labrax had promised he would lead Palaestra to the temple to deliver [her] to a youth."
"Voluerat" is a pluperfect, so "had wanted" rather than "wanted."

iam puella sola erat nesciebatque quid faceret. erat prope templum parva villa in qua senex habitabat. hic senex multis ante annis filiam seuam amiserat;
Now the girl was alone and did not know what to do. Near the temple was a small house, in which the old man was living. This old man had lost his daughter before for many years;


"many years earlier" would be better for "multis ante annis." The ante is adverbial.

nam a latronibus capta ablata erat. is quoque iam solus cum paucis servis habitabat. puella templum ingressa sacerdotem oravit ut se adiuverat.
for she was captured by robbers. He was also now living alone with his few slaves. Entering the temple, the girl arose to the priests that had helped her.


Don't forget "ablata," which actually goes with the main verb "erat" rather than "capta erat." (Capta is adjectival here).
"Then" rather than "now" for 'iam', because this takes place in the past.
How many priests are there, "sacerdotem"? Oravit isn't "arose" but from the verb "oro, orare, oravi, oratus," to beg/ask. (for 'arise' you'd want the deponent verb "orior, oriri, ortus sum'. I'm guessing you accidentally saw a regularized, non-deponent form like "orio, orire, orivi" which is not the classical form.)

interea Labrax, qui e nave quoque effugerat, ad templum appropinquavit. puellam conspectam capere conatus est. senex clamoribus templo auditis, puellam servavit;
Meanwhile, Labrax, who had also fled from the ship, approached the temple. The girl will have caught sight of him which she know. The old man heard the shouts in the temple,


"puellam conspectam" is the object phrase. "Conatus est" is from the deponent verb "conor, conari, conatus sum", which means, "to try." Knowing this, think of the sentence thus "[Labrax] conatus est capere puellam conspectam."
You forgot "puellam servavit," but that's easy enough.

duobus servis imperavit ut Labracem tenerent.
the girl was guarding; he ondered two of the slaves to seize Labrax.


If you mean "the girl was guarding" for "puellam servavit," remember that "servo, servare..." means "to save," with the subject being the Senex.

Looks good! Just keep your eye on pluperfects vs. perfects, and if the translation seems funky, make sure you're looking at the correct verbs/deponents, etc.
Horae quidem cedunt et dies et menses et anni, nec praeteritum tempus umquam revertitur nec quid sequatur sciri potest. Quod cuique temporis ad vivendum datur, eo debet esse contentus. --Cicero, De Senectute
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Re: Could Sumbody check my translation:

Postby awlright » Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:08 pm

i'm kind of lost on the last one; that is a purpose clause......right?
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Re: Could Sumbody check my translation:

Postby thesaurus » Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:11 pm

awlright wrote:i'm kind of lost on the last one; that is a purpose clause......right?


If you mean "duobus servis imperavit ut Labracem tenerent," then it is definitely a purpose clause. Tenerent is imperfect subjunctive because it is purpose in past tense, because the main verb "imperavit" is perfect (this follows the 'sequence of tenses').
Horae quidem cedunt et dies et menses et anni, nec praeteritum tempus umquam revertitur nec quid sequatur sciri potest. Quod cuique temporis ad vivendum datur, eo debet esse contentus. --Cicero, De Senectute
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Re: Could Sumbody check my translation:

Postby awlright » Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:18 pm

puellam conspectam capere conatus est
he caught sight of the girl he tried to capture.

duobus servis imperavit ut labracem tenerent
he sent two of his slaves to seize Labrax?
awlright
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Re: Could Sumbody check my translation:

Postby thesaurus » Wed Feb 11, 2009 7:42 pm

awlright wrote:puellam conspectam capere conatus est
he caught sight of the girl he tried to capture.

duobus servis imperavit ut labracem tenerent
he sent two of his slaves to seize Labrax?


1) "He tried [conatus est] to capture [capere] the girl whom he saw [puellam conspectam]." Literally, puellam conspectam is "the seen girl," but in English we'd turn this adjectival perfect participle (from conspecto, conspectare, conspectavi, conspectatus) into an adjectival relative clause. Like, "the girl whom he saw"/"when he saw the girl"/"seeing the girl" etc.

2) Literally we have, "He ordered [imperavit] two slaves/servants [duobus servis] to hold/seize [ut tenerent] Labrax [Labracem]." As you probably noticed, the verb "imperare" takes a dative noun for its object, and an 'ut' purpose clause requires the subjunctive.

I hope this answers your questions.
Horae quidem cedunt et dies et menses et anni, nec praeteritum tempus umquam revertitur nec quid sequatur sciri potest. Quod cuique temporis ad vivendum datur, eo debet esse contentus. --Cicero, De Senectute
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