by annis » Sun Jan 27, 2008 8:02 pm
First, I moved this post to the composition board.
Second, your poem is large enough that comments from me may trickle in over a few days.
Can you explain your motivations for writing the digamma? It's likely Homer didn't pronounce it even if its memory provided some metrical licenses. Even in your own work, sometimes the digamma is ignored in scansion — ΜÎÏκιοι οá½Îº ἔδÏιον, -uu-uu-.
I'd accent Ἄθελστᾱν as ἈθÎλστᾱν instead, if the final alpha is to be taken long.
You have quite a few lines ending in a monosyllable — ξÏν, γῆν, τοῖν. This is pretty rare in homer, and even rarer in later hexameter verse (from 3% down to 1.7%). At the end of a line Homer prefers forms of γαῖα or αἶα for γῆ in particular.
Finally, for something completely different, are you the same Anthony Appleyard who produced a Quenya grammar in the 1990s still floating about all over the web?