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Help with Love poem

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Help with Love poem

Postby AFarro » Wed Nov 27, 2013 10:51 pm

A dear friend of mine wants me to give her some verse for a tattoo.

She loves it when I attempt to read latin, and we're both obsessed with the Rome series, so I wanted to write her something in latin.

So far what I have is this.

oculis gemmis,
Aspicit ad occidentem

Without going too far into our history, for many years she was in a very controlling relationship. A relationship with a very "Eastern" man, a sort of despot who was very selfish and clueless about her needs. With me, I was "The west". The concept of equality, putting her needs on equal regard as mine, giving her power in a relationship that she hadn't experienced. Or, perhaps to be more accurate, that we saw ourselves as Antony and Atia from the HBO series!

What I'm wanting say is something of the following, there will be two lines of verse behind a bird:
"Her jeweled eyes,
They look towards the West."

Could also be

"With jeweled eyes,
She looks toward the West."

I'd be happy to swap "jeweled" with "starry" or "rare", but so far I like a form of Gemmis better than a form of sidereum or rarus. Your help would be much appreciated. I'd like it to be grammatically correct, but I want to words to be minimalist and beautiful. Free of direct objects, pronouns and such.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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