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hunc libellum dono meum illae quae amica diu iam
optima nobis est, quae mihi semper erit.
"I dedicate this little book of mine to the one who has been my best friend all along, who will always be to me."
Sadly I am aware of a couple of problems. First there are probably too many elisions, although I figure that for 2 lines I can get away with it. Also there is a monosyllable at the end of the first hemiepes.
Is it a problem that the pentameter ends with two disyllabic words?
I am using brevis in longo in both lines for the final syllable. Is this admissible?
Does anyone else spot any other errors or have any suggestions? Will the gods strike me down for using something like this in its currently impure state?