In Luce Solari (Walking On Sunshine)

This board is a composition workshop, like a writers' workshop: post your work with questions about style or vocabulary, comment on other people's work, post composition challenges on some topic or form, or just dazzle us with your inventive use of galliambics.
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Gregorius
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In Luce Solari (Walking On Sunshine)

Post by Gregorius »

One of my hobbies is song translation. It's a unique challenge, since I almost always have to capture the original meaning of the lyrics as best I can and paraphrase it in order to make the words fit the music and rhyme scheme. I have done song translations in Spanish, French, and Italian.


I'd like to get some feedback on what I consider to be my first viable Latin song translation. I have so far been too busy and/or lazy to translate the second verse, but I like how the first verse and refrain turned out. What do you think?

In Lûce Sôlârî
"Walking On Sunshine" in Linguâ Latinâ

Crêdêbam tê tunc mê amâre, sed certa nunc sum.
Dum veniâs prô mê nôn plûs hîc exspectâre possum.
Nunc valdê anxiê quôque die soleô spêrâre.
Ut veniat epistula dîcêns tê appropinquâre.

In lûce sôlârî
In lûce sôlârî
In lûce sôlârî
Ambulô têcum
Ambulô têcum.
Last edited by Gregorius on Tue Nov 29, 2005 2:43 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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benissimus
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Post by benissimus »

your infinitives (solare) seem a bit detached, and where are all the vuuuu-aaaa's?
flebile nescio quid queritur lyra, flebile lingua murmurat exanimis, respondent flebile ripae

Gregorius
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Re: In Luce Solare (Walking On Sunshine)

Post by Gregorius »

"Solare" is not an infinitive. It's s'posed to be the singular ablative form of the third-declension adjective "solaris." And it just occurred to me why you confused them. It should be "solari," shouldn't it? Let me make those changes.

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