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An elegaic couplet composed in 15 minutes

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:28 am
by GlottalGreekGeek
[size=150]νῦν μ’ ἕλε, δαιμονίη, ἡ\ μ’ ἔθελγες ἐν νήσῳ κύκνων τῶν λεύκων θύμον ἐχοῦσα μεῦ[/size] οὒ βαθύ ἐστίν

Re: An elegaic couplet composed in 15 minutes

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 1:02 am
by annis
GlottalGreekGeek wrote:[size=150]νῦν μ’ ἕλε, δαιμονίη, ἡ\ μ’ ἔθελγες ἐν νήσῳ κύκνων τῶν λεύκων θύμον ἐχοῦσα μεῦ[/size]
The hexameter starts off fine, but then there's a bit of a scansion muddle. Somewhere I saw a verse comp. book say you should start your verses at the end of the line. At first I thought this was mad, but I am also mostly likely to trip up near the end of a line rather than the beginning.

First, the hiatus before is a surprise. Strange things do happen at the caesura, and the final eta of δαιμονίη is allowed hiatus here, because it falls in a natural long, and is thus following a Homeric model. But it's not very frequent.

From on scans: - u - u - - -. You need: uu - uu - u u - - (where the uu are contractable; by preference avoid contraction in the fifth foot).

The pentameter starts of fine, but you're missing a short position before μεῦ (love the Ionic brogue!). Note the accenting: θυμόν.

Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:26 am
by GlottalGreekGeek
Ah, yes, I forgot about a couple of those petty details. That's what I get for composing this in so brief a time.

If I were more interested in the poem's subject matter, I might try to resolve some of those issues. As it is, I am far more interested in another Greek poem I'm working on (which is taking much more time to compose since I want it to be as excellent as possible).