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An elegaic couplet composed in 15 minutes

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An elegaic couplet composed in 15 minutes

Postby GlottalGreekGeek » Tue Nov 01, 2005 12:28 am

[face=SPIonic]nu=n m' e(/le, daimoni/h, h9\ m' e)/qelgej e)n nh/sw|
ku/knwn tw=n leu/kwn qu/mon e)xou=sa meu=


ou)\ baqu/ e)sti/n
[/face]
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Re: An elegaic couplet composed in 15 minutes

Postby annis » Tue Nov 01, 2005 1:02 am

GlottalGreekGeek wrote:[face=SPIonic]nu=n m' e(/le, daimoni/h, h9\ m' e)/qelgej e)n nh/sw|
ku/knwn tw=n leu/kwn qu/mon e)xou=sa meu=
[/face]


The hexameter starts off fine, but then there's a bit of a scansion muddle. Somewhere I saw a verse comp. book say you should start your verses at the end of the line. At first I thought this was mad, but I am also mostly likely to trip up near the end of a line rather than the beginning.

First, the hiatus before [face=spionic]h(/[/face] is a surprise. Strange things do happen at the caesura, and the final eta of [face=spionic]daimoni/h[/face] is allowed hiatus here, because it falls in a natural long, and is thus following a Homeric model. But it's not very frequent.

From [face=spionic]h(/[/face] on scans: - u - u - - -. You need: uu - uu - u u - - (where the uu are contractable; by preference avoid contraction in the fifth foot).

The pentameter starts of fine, but you're missing a short position before [face=spionic]meu=[/face] (love the Ionic brogue!). Note the accenting: [face=spionic]qumo/n[/face].
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Postby GlottalGreekGeek » Tue Nov 01, 2005 2:26 am

Ah, yes, I forgot about a couple of those petty details. That's what I get for composing this in so brief a time.

If I were more interested in the poem's subject matter, I might try to resolve some of those issues. As it is, I am far more interested in another Greek poem I'm working on (which is taking much more time to compose since I want it to be as excellent as possible).
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