Note : I couldn't spend much time examiing your text. Maybe all is not yet right...
Shine wrote:1. The slave gave the snake to Cleopatra by (using) a trick
[face=SPIonic]O( dou=lov e)/dwke ton\ o)/fin Kleopa/tra| th|= mhxanh|/[/face]
I thought of Dat. instrumenti here
by (using) a trick : [face=SPIonic]mhxanh=| xrhsa/menoj[/face] litt. "having used a trick" aorist because the main verb is also an aorist.
2. I love you, Cleopatra, and I am trying to save you.
[face=SPIonic]A)gapa/w se/, Kleopa/tra, kai\ peira/omai e)sw|=sai se/.[/face]
[face=SPIonic]sw/|zw[/face] probably have a different aorist
[face=SPIonic]A)gapa/w > A)gapw=[/face] but I would say "Loving you..."
[face=SPIonic]A)gapw=n se/, Kleopa/tra, peirw=mai sw=sai (sw/|zein) se/.
3. I have beem wounded by an enemy like you
[face=SPIonic]E)trw/qhn u(po\ tou= polemi/ou o(moi/ou soi/[/face]
Delete the [face=SPIonic]tou=[/face]
4.Since I am so wise, I love boy's sole.
[face=SPIonic]E)pei\ ei)mi\ toiau/thn sofi/an a)gapa/w paido\s yuxh/n[/face]
I would say "Being so wise..." [face=SPIonic]Ou(/tw sofh\ ou)=sa a)gapw=...[/face] but I don't understand the meaning of this sentence.
is it Acc Graecus?
I don't think so. It is no more than a complement of the subject (a predicate)
5. I, being a woman, am much wiser than all man.
[face=SPIonic]Gunaiko\s ou(/shs ei)mi\ ma=llon sofh= tw=n pa/ntwn a)/ndrwn[/face]
[face=SPIonic]Ou)=sa gunh\ pa/ntwn tw=n a)ndrw=n ei)mi sofwte/ra[/face]
or it is better to use [face=SPIonic]h\([/face]
It is also possible but it would be [face=SPIonic]h)/
[face=SPIonic]sofwte/ra ei)mi\ h)\ pa/ntej oi( a)/ndrej[/face]
6. whose country have I come to, my companions?
[face=SPIonic]W)=| e(/tairoi ei)s ou(= a)nqrw/pou xw/ran h)/lqon[/face]
[/face] by [face=SPIonic]ti/noj
[/face] (if whose = "of which (single) man", else [face=SPIonic]ti/nwn a)nqrw/pwn[/face])
7. The greeks will make Cyrus king
[face=SPIonic]Oi( E(llh/nes Ku=ron katasth/sousi basile/a[/face]
Not as duplex as in [face=SPIonic]e)rwta=n tina/ ti[/face] : here [face=SPIonic]basile/a[/face] is complement (predicate) of the direct object [face=SPIonic]Ku=ron[/face]
8. The queen heard the messenger but could not understand his words
[face=SPIonic]H( basi/leia h)/kouen to\n a)/ggelon a)lla\ suni/ei tou=s lo/gous a)utou=[/face]
[face=SPIonic]H( basi/leia tou= a)gge/lou h)/kouen a)ll' ou)k h)du/nato (oi(/a te h)=n) sunie/nai tou\s lo/gous a)utou=
I am not sure about the tense -should it be imperf or aorist?
Aorist would be possible but it wouldn't be the same story (it would be narration instead of description in the imperfect)
[face=SPIonic]H( basi/leia tou= a)gge/lou h)/kousen a)lla\ sunei=nai ou)k h)dunh/qh...[/face]