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Translation Is this right?

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 7:52 pm
by chica
Achilles non solum vir fortis potensque, sed etiam Thetidis deae filius erat. Ille cum Agamemnone aliisque Graecis Troiam venerat et bellum longum difficileque gesserat. Sed nunc post novem annos ira acris eum movebat; nam feminam captivam ei caram Agamemnon ceperat. Itaque Achilles matrem suam vocavit: “Iuva me!? In mari Thetis eum audivit et ad eum cucurrit: “Tuas sententias intellego, me dulcis fili,? dixit. “Omnes Graeci te magno in honore habere debent; sine te enim Troianos vincere non possunt. Cogita haec: si nunc hoc ex bello fugies, tibi erit parva gloria, sed vita longa; si autem hoc loco manebis, magnam gloriam invenies, sed tuam vitam amittes.?

“O beata mater, bonum animum habe!? dixit Achilles. “Omnibus hominibus vita brevis est. Ego ipse celerem mortem non timeo. Sed, quoniam ingens ira me tenet bellum non geram.? Quam magna est vis irae!

Achilles was not only a man of courage and strength, but was even the son of the goddess Thetis. He, with Agamemnon and the other Greeks, had come and conducted a long and difficult war against the Trojans. But now after nine years bitter anger had moved Achilles; for Agamemnon had taken a woman captive dear to him. Therefore Achilles called to his mother: “Help me!? In the sea Thetis heard him and rushed to him: “I understand your feelings, my sweet son,? she said. “All of the Greeks ought to have held you in great esteem; for without you they are not able to conquer the Trojans. Think about this: if you now flee from this war, little glory will be to you, but a long life; if however you will remain in this place, you will find great glory, but your life you will lose.?

“O blessed mother, have good spirit!? Achilles said. “To every man life is short. I myself am not afraid of a quick death. But since huge anger possesses me, I will not conduct war.? How great is the force of his anger!

Re: Translation Is this right?

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2008 4:06 pm
by elduce
Salve, chica,

Your translation looks good. Here are a few points:

Sentence 1: Your wrote that Achilles was a man "of courage and strength." If you read the sentence you will see it says "fortis potensque," which are actually adjectives in the nominative case and not genitive. Therefore, it may read "Achilles was a man courageous and strong." This is merely my opinion, of course, and you can translate it anyway you want.

Sentence 2: You wrote that the Greeks and Achilles had come to wage war against the Trojans, but if you read the sentence it says "Troiam," not "Troianos," which means Troy. Little difference here but I mention it if you're big on details.

Sentence 3: You wrote that bitter anger had moved Achilles. If you look at the verb "movebat" you will see it is past progressive and not pluperfect (if it was pluperfect it would read "moverat"). Therefore, the translation should be "bitter anger was moving/kept moving/moved Achilles." Again, small detail - and you may be right given that any translation is open to unlimited perceptions.

The small part after the first parapgraph where Achilles calls his mother, you wrote "huge anger" for "ingens ira." I would translate "ingens" differently, not as "huge." Find a different adjective instead of "huge" because it doesn't sound right.

For the same sentence you wrote that Achilles' great anger was forcing him not to conduct war. Shouldn't it be that his anger was pushing him to fight? Strike that "non" out of there.

You did a good job. Keep it up.