Salve, chica,
Your translation looks good. Here are a few points:
Sentence 1: Your wrote that Achilles was a man "of courage and strength." If you read the sentence you will see it says "fortis potensque," which are actually adjectives in the nominative case and not genitive. Therefore, it may read "Achilles was a man courageous and strong." This is merely my opinion, of course, and you can translate it anyway you want.
Sentence 2: You wrote that the Greeks and Achilles had come to wage war against the Trojans, but if you read the sentence it says "Troiam," not "Troianos," which means Troy. Little difference here but I mention it if you're big on details.
Sentence 3: You wrote that bitter anger had moved Achilles. If you look at the verb "movebat" you will see it is past progressive and not pluperfect (if it was pluperfect it would read "moverat"). Therefore, the translation should be "bitter anger was moving/kept moving/moved[i] Achilles." Again, small detail - and you may be right given that any translation is open to unlimited perceptions.
The small part after the first parapgraph where Achilles calls his mother, you wrote "huge anger" for "ingens ira." I would translate "ingens" differently, not as "huge." Find a different adjective instead of "huge" because it doesn't sound right.
For the same sentence you wrote that Achilles' great anger was forcing him [i]not to conduct war. Shouldn't it be that his anger was pushing him to fight? Strike that "non" out of there.
You did a good job. Keep it up.
