Wheelock Chapter 2

[fsohn]

Once again, just looking for advice/commentary on the translation from Wheelock. This time its chapter two.

Here's the original:
Puella mea me non amat. Vale, puella. Catullus obdurat: poeta puellam non amat, formam puellae non laudat, puellae rosas no dat, et puellam non basiat. Ira mea est magna. Obduro, mea puella--sed sine te non valeo.

and here's my translation:

My girl does not love me. Goodbye, girl! Catullus is strong: the poet does not love the girl, he does not praise the shape of the girl*, he does not give roses to the girl, and he does not kiss the girl. My anger is great! I am firm, my girl, but without you I am not well.

*Here is it appropriate to translate 'formam puellae' as 'the girl's shape' instead of 'the shape of the girl'? The latter sounds very stilted and artificial.

Anyways, thanks in advance to any and all who help me along.

-francis

[amans]

*Here is it appropriate to translate 'formam puellae' as 'the girl's shape' instead of 'the shape of the girl'? The latter sounds very stilted and artificial.

Anyways, thanks in advance to any and all who help me along.

-francis

Francis, you're doing very well indeed! I can't find any errors in your translation of this piece - as you clearly know that puellae is in the genitive and that it determines the direct object, formam, you can choose what sounds best.

Don't you, by the way, just love the emotional complexity of our dear Catullus? He obviously has a hard time making up his mind when confronted with a non-loving girl friend: he must be strong, yet he loves her still! The shift in pronoun is also quite telling: first a first person reference (me), then a third person reference (Catullus), then first person references again: mea and implicit ego's of the verbs.

Keep up your good work

[benissimus]

forma can also be translated "beauty" or "appearance", but knowing Catullus... your translation may be more accurate