I've been attempting to write an elegiac couplet, and I'd really like to get some constructive feedback on what I've come up with. The sentiment in this epigram was inspired by Morrissey's hilariously malicious song "We Hate It when Our Friends Become Successful":
Nullum mī peius est quam fortūnātus amīcus:
Tollitur in caelum, dum miser hīc maneō.
Thanks in advance, and if anyone else has attempted to use this verse form, please ...